Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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