Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
