You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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