I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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