Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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