I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
