Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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