I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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