I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
