He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
