YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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