he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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