She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
