she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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