I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize