Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
