We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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