I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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