Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So much rum. So many feels.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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