Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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