People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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