SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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