apparently the secret to your success is patron
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
