Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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