i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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