i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
