Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Randomize
