I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
