Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize