he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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