He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
