sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
