I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
