i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Drunk is a universal language darling
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
