This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
