He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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