Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
