The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
