I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
