going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
time to smoke my breakfast
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
