there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize