the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
