No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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