Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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