Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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