I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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