wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just threw up on my dentist
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
