I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
