Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize