I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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