this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
