Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
