I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
