you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
