who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
