I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize