bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
