Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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