I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
