i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
