if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
