dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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