the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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