Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
