do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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