So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
